Women who choose to wear clothing that reveals their cleavages are scorned by a hypocritical press – and accused of provoking assaults
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Breasts are having a moment. Boobs, tits, baps, funbags – and all the other terms we come up with for a part of the anatomy society finds a little too dangerous to be comfortably called by its own name. (See also, vagina.) Whatever you want to call them, breasts have been firmly in the spotlight in recent weeks.
At a baptism ceremony this month, the pope proved himself more progressive than Nigel Farage when he encouraged women – not for the first time – to go ahead and breastfeed their children in the Sistine Chapel. Farage and others think women who might offend public sentiment by breastfeeding publicly should sit in a corner or perhaps cover themselves up with a massive napkin. Incidentally, women who think Farage offends public sentiment might suggest the same penalty for him. The pope’s statement is a welcome step forward, though the proclamation is somewhat ironic when you consider that the Sistine Chapel itself is already copiously adorned with nudity, courtesy of Michelangelo.
Next, breasts once again threatened to eclipse women’s achievements at the Golden Globe awards, which spawned online headlines including “Battle of the boobs!” and “Whose boobs are hotter?” Perhaps inspired by the sheer intelligence of Seth MacFarlane’s 2013 Oscars song We Saw Your Boobs, actor Jeremy Renner made a tired quip about Jennifer Lopez’s “globes” as he presented an award with her.
Meanwhile, contestant Jeremy Jackson was ejected from the Celebrity Big Brother house after grabbing at model Chloe Goodman’s dressing gown and exposing her breast. But despite the fact that police cautioned him for assault, other contestants were quick to criticise Goodman instead, with one, Ken Morley, accusing her of being “naive” and telling her: “You’re a single girl, you’re 21, you go into a room with a person you only know slightly, wearing only a robe. I think that’s dodgy.” Another housemate, Alexander O’Neal, told her: “I have to give it to you because I care. Living in an environment like this, with a group of men around you, there’s no sneaky way to get dressed … You don’t give no man a chance, I say it because I care but it was too much exposure.”
This all comes just days after the news that Rita Ora’s choice of outfit (a jacket without a top underneath) for an interview on the BBC’s The One Show sparked 400 complaints from affronted (pun intended) viewers. The One Show published an apology that sounded more like a ticking-off on its Facebook page, writing: “We’re sorry to those of you who were offended by Rita Ora’s choice of outfit on yesterday’s show. If we had been consulted on it we would have requested she wore something more suitable for 7pm.”
The Daily Mail website quickly produced an article about the resulting outrage, illustrated with 11 images and a video, as well as a further six photos of her in another low-cut dress. On the same day, the website reported another important story: “Cheeky! Bikini-clad Rita Ora leaves VERY little to the imagination as she parties in next-to-nothing on luxury yacht.” To clear up any confusion, this was followed up with an article entitled: “Little Miss look at me! How Rita Ora the risqué new star of BBC’s The Voice – daughter of an Albanian pub landlord – has built a career out of outrageous attention seeking.” So, to recap, breasts imagined through a man’s eyes and painted by his brush are high art, but women choosing to use these parts of their own bodies to feed their children is potentially offensive and must be policed by men. Women in show business are enormously pressured to reveal their bodies (which must conform to narrow media-dictated ideals) and to use sex appeal as part of their selling points. But those who choose to wear clothes they feel confident and happy in may be subject to anger, outrage, or accused of being attention-seekers. The media is disgusted by such showing off, but will, nonetheless, heroically document each bikini moment with astonishing diligence. And though society repeatedly reminds us women’s breasts are there primarily for men’s pleasure and use, if women are assaulted they should realise it’s their own fault for having breasts in the first place and wearing the wrong sort of clothes on them.
Glad we cleared that up.
